


Paper Aeroplanes

by gracie137



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Destiel - Freeform, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, High School, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Private School, Rich Castiel, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 12:32:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2652191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracie137/pseuds/gracie137
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Van de Novak is looking for something to happen in his life when he moves to Ravensfield Academy for rich brats, not just something as being a Van de Novak means enough somethings have happened to him. No he wants something meaningful, so that when he looks back on his life in he can remember his school days with a smile instead of a shrug. Joining up with childhood friend Gabriel Darcy has Castiel thrown into Ravensfield life head first, and when he meets the highly infuriating yet pretty Dean Winchester he realises maybe he really will find his something, and maybe his first love at the same time. </p>
<p>In a story of friendship, love, and heart break, Castiel realises that everyone is a little broken inside but that doesn't mean they're shattered for good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is a story I've been working on for a very long time, and it is currently a work in progress that I am working hard to get ahead on so that I can update it. Unlike other stories I have on here from the past I will finish this as it means so much to me and I've had sooo much planning and editing involved with it. I really hope you enjoy it, and that you feel every emotion out there during Dean and Cas' story, I know I did whilst writing it.
> 
> For myself, to prove I can do this.

Jo fingered the ring she wore on the silver chain around her neck absent-mindedly as she gazed around the room buzzing and alive with all her old school friends. 

“I’m so glad everyone could come!” Lisa’s voice tinkled through the air as she tapped the mike and giggled, flute of champagne held with elegant ease in her fingers. She looked amazing, but she always had. Her dark hair was curled and her tanned skin glowed in her golden dress. Bela Talbot stood by her side, and it was just like they were back at Ravenswood all over again. Jo had to admit she was amused to see that ten years hadn’t been able to wipe the arrogant smirk of the green eyed woman’s face. 

Jo played with the hem of her dark dress and grinned slightly when she felt Victor’s hands on her waist.

“Hey babe,” he murmured kissing the top of her head. Jo rolled her eyes fondly but turned around and kissed him gently.

A groan sounds and she glances over to see Meg Master’s pulling a face, “Get a room please,” the dark haired girl laughs before pulling each one of them in for a hug. “Good to see you, you can tell me about your honey moon later.”

Jo agrees and laughs, as she subconsciously glances around for a familiar pair of green eyes, it must have been being back in the Ravensfield that brought her back to glancing around for Dean. That’s how she’d spent most of her time there after all.

“I can’t believe our little Cassy is speaking here,” Meg purrs in amusement, her mouth tugging up at the corners as she embraces Charlie who’d just arrived with her fiancée Gilda.

“Look at all of you shacking up, how boring!” Meg groans again, flipping her dark hair around.

“No one could ever tame you Masters,” Charlie smirks and she sounds so much like Dean then Jo cant help but peering around for the dirty blonde haired man again.

Meg lets out a giggle and winks at them all, “Treat them mean, keep them keen.” Jo rolls her eyes and they start discussing their jobs and anything that they hadn’t discussed recently, Victor had recently been promoted in his job for FBI but that was all very hush, hush.

The money and wealth of the place stunk in a way that Jo had forgotten about since she left Ravens ten years ago, her friends hadn’t been the arrogant wealthy brats after all, well except Cas. She glances around looking for the mess of dark hair automatically assuming that Dean would be were Cas was.

Lisa’s voice runs out over the room again as she taps on the microphone and begins her speech about how glad she is to welcome back the Ravens class of 2015 for their second reunion, and she that she loves how everyone is still close after ten years since graduating.

Jo can’t help but tune out, this was never her scene and it wasn’t until senior year that she gave a crap about most of these people. But then again even then she’d silently resented the ease they’d all had for applying to Ivy League’s. She’d gone to Yale at that end of the day, and she’d now gotten over her childhood irritation at their easy life style.

“And now to welcome to the stage, our very own Castiel Van de Novak!” Jo tunes back in and lets out a loud cheer as they clap him up onto the stage. She giggles as she hears the loud piercing whistle just how Dean always used to do at her running events.

“Hey,” Cas’ voice is whiskey soaked and his hair is as mused as it always used to be as he smiles awkwardly out at the crowd and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen most of you,” he admits chewing on his lip as he stuffs the cards he was holding in his pocket.

“Go on Cassy!” A laugh sounds and Jo notices Cas shoot Gabriel a thankful smile before returning to talk to them, a little more confident this time.

He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair before continuing, “Well as a few of you may know, my novel Paper Aeroplanes has just been published and it’s about my first year here at Ravens,” he pauses and his eyes flit across the crowd briefly, no doubt looking for a pair of green eyes and a comforting grin. “My junior year was one I’ll never forget, and as much as all of you were a large part of it, the true star of my story is Dean.” He pauses and swallows as a smile tugs up at his lips as he raises his glass. “So here’s to Dean.”


	2. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's where the story really starts, and enjoy Cas' first month at school!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoy this, and please do let me know what you think down in the comments

Castiel pushed open the door to his English classroom, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he held open the door for the guy behind him. Even though he had met people at dinner he was still nervous about his first real day, a small part of him even wished that Gabriel had been in this class with him. However the majority of him was extremely glad that Gabriel was not in his first class, for as much as he adored his childhood friend and the main reason he was at Ravensfield Academy was because of Gabriel Darcy, sharing a room with the trouble maker was enough. He would prefer to make his own name at the school not constantly be leaching off Gabriel’s.

‘Sit alphabetically, getting coffee’ was scrawled on the board and he could thank the Lord for small things. There was nothing more uncomfortable than trying to find a seat in a room full of people you didn’t know.

 The room was half full with students staring blankly ahead with glazed sleep filled eyes; a quiet murmur filled the room as everyone tried to catch up. This was very different from the loud echoing one during dinner, and also from the grunts and groans that had sounded all through breakfast as people tried to wake themselves up for their first class. It wasn’t just the sound that had changed since breakfast. Gone were the pj’s, the bed head and the blank faces, now everyone was dressed neatly in uniform with only the odd collar sticking out, hair was either perfectly gelled or styled to make it look like they didn’t care and even the faces looked more perfect. Gabriel had pointed out no one cared during breakfast, even the vainest of people didn’t bother with makeup, nice clothes or neat hair.

He spotted his name neatly printed on a piece of paper at the in the third row of seats, the desks were arranged in lines of five and the name tags ended with the one after his. His euphoria of being seated alphabetically had dwindled slightly due to the fact he was sat alone on the back row with one other person. As per usual the fact his surname was Van De Novak had come around to bite him in the ass.

“Sit down everyone,” A brunette woman swanned into the classroom, a small smirk on her mouth, she reminded Castiel of a cat that had just found the cream. In her hands was a large coffee mug and a stack of books, “Gadreel hand these out when I say so,” she ordered dropping them on the boy at the front’s desk, the boy was tall with a stern face; Castiel felt a surge of happiness that he wouldn’t be the only guy with a strange name here. He still wasn’t very good with names and having Gabriel rapidly pointing people out at dinner and breakfast hadn’t really enlightened him much.

“Bass will you hand the new folders for the year, and Stafford hand out three sheets of paper for everyone.” The teacher instructed bossily as she lounged back on her desk and took a long sip of her coffee. He guessed these were the two girls surnames, the tall blonde girl Bass stood up and flipped her high pony tail over making a snide remark about how it was still better than ‘Ruby 1.0 and Ruby 2.0’, and Stafford rolled her eyes as she collected the sheets of paper from the front her sleek brown hair curled with a pink hair band holding it back from her face, she was a lot shorter and more innocent looking with plump pink lips.

Castiel glanced down at his schedule and made a note of her name, ‘Miss P. Barnes’, all Gabriel had said about her was that she was hilarious, hot and everyone loved her. That brought him some comfort, as at least his first teacher wouldn’t a monster.

The class was clearly rather laid back as a small girl in front of him loudly begged Miss. Barnes to tell them they were studying good books, and the rest of the class joined in with their pleas.

The class was now completely here apart from the person next to him and whoever was sat directly in front of that person, he leaned over slightly to glance at the nametag next to him, D. Winchester. He hoped that whoever was sat next to him was acceptable.

“Can anyone tell me where Marvelled and Winchester are?” Miss Barnes inquired, her eyes filled with a spark that told the class despite her neatly arched eyebrow she wasn’t really irritated. Bass called out that Jo had been at breakfast but she had no idea where Dean was. He glanced over at the nametag again, and nodded so his English partner was Dean Winchester. He wracked his brain through the people Gabriel had listed to avoid and there it was, the first name Gabriel had said actually. Dean Winchester, Gabriel had called him a prick. Instantly Castiel’s spirits fell, that was just his luck to get stuck next to a giant ass.

Just as he was wondering whether moving from The Altadena Catholic School of Excellence to Ravensfield Academy was a good idea, another blonde girl shoved the door open her cheeks slightly flushed, “Sorry we’re late!” She blurted out, smoothing down her skirt as she sent the class a tight-lipped smile as she slid into the classroom and sat down, dumping her messenger bag on the floor.

“And where’s Mr Winchester?” The girl, Jo he remembered Bass had called her, spun around in her seat, blonde curls flying; her eyes almost glowing with anger as she glowered at the door.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” she muttered to herself, her eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together tightly, as she turned around to answer Miss Barnes in a more polite, acceptable way.

“I’m here!” A lazy drawl sounded and Castiel glanced around to see a weirdly pretty boy saunter into the class. He seemed to be able to make an oversized black blazer seem like it was something that had just come off the runway. He glanced back at Jo who simply seemed to be glaring at Dean.

“Thank you for gracing us with your presence Dean, now please sit down next to Castiel,” Miss Barnes smirked, rolling her eyes and grinning slightly as Dean winked at her. The boy seemed to be rather audacious, Castiel noted. “Speaking of Castiel,” his blood ran cold; this was why he hadn’t wanted to move. Well that was a lie it had been his decision to move, but this was why he had been wary. He was now the new guy. He flicked his wide blue eyes over at Miss Barnes who giggled and winked at him, “Gadreel hand out the books we will be studying for this term and Castiel you stand up and tell us about yourself.”

Castiel pushed himself up from his chair and stared fiercely at his desk, his head bowed so no one could see him. Dean had flopped down into his chair and appeared to be settling down for a nap, unfortunately most of the class had not decided a nap would be fun and were currently staring at Castiel as if he were the current freak show, which he supposed he was.

“Come on sweetie,”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gripped the edges of his desk tightly, “Hi… I’m Castiel Van De Novak,” he glanced up through his lashes at Miss Barnes who was still smiling sweetly at him. “I came from The Altadena Catholic School?” He suggested unsure what he was meant to say, Jo shot him a sympathetic smile before glowering at Dean again; however the dirty blonde haired boy next to him was too fast asleep to even notice. If looks could kill it would be safe to say he’d be out one English partner. “Is there anything else to say?” He asked he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks as Miss Barnes stared at him. Finally she let out a bark of laughter and waved at him, “Sit down kiddo, I’m just messing with you.” Castiel dropped back into his seat like a stone and laid his head down on the cold desk trying to remove his blush.

He glanced down at the book on his desk and despite his current state of never ending embarrassment felt a hint of happiness. They would be studying The Hunger Games; he finally understood what Gabriel meant about Miss Barnes being a cool English teacher, at his old school for junior year he would’ve been studying books that were a lot less interesting. He heard one of the boys light up and announce he was thrilled since Jennifer Lawrence was so hot, and Bass purred about how good both Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth were.

Miss Barnes turned around to write on the board telling them to shout out roles that Katniss has in the novel, for example a provider, a celebrity, a survivor and a lover. Castiel copied the notes down dutifully unable to keep his eyes from straying to Dean who was still half asleep beside him only scrawling down the occasional word. He assumed that to be this lazy in school Dean’s parents would have to be very rich, otherwise there was no way he’d be slacking this way.

As the class went on to discuss an over view of the book and Miss Barnes gave them pages to read, informing them that if they’d already read the book then they could read it again.

Castiel couldn’t help but stare at Dean and notice more and more details on his face. He had a slender face with a rather feminine aspect to it, high cheekbones with freckles dusted across them and his nose too. He had these red pouty lips, which he wrapped around the pen often when he took a break from writing, and these breathtakingly green eyes framed by long lashes. The only seemingly none perfect thing about him were the large dark circles under his eyes, and his inability to sit still. Seriously the boy’s leg was constantly shaking, which was highly infuriating as their desks were connected. He suspected Gabriel was right about Dean being a bag of dicks as it would be humanly impossible for Dean to be nice as well as that attractive.

 

After the first couple of days Castiel realised it was easy enough to fall into a routine at Ravensfield. Sure there was a lot of work but nothing more than at Altadena and here the work was more interesting. He was extremely glad to Gabriel suggested moving schools to him.

Gabriel had been his friend for years despite his mother’s strong dislike for the youngest Darcy child and her strong desire that Castiel would chose to be friends with someone more like Adam their oldest child, who was now a successful doctor and dating his older sister Anna. So personally he’s sure it was a lot smarter of him to choose Gabriel over Adam, even though he didn’t really chose Gabriel, Gabriel just kind of appeared one day and never left. Gabriel thought it was hilarious they were going to be brothers in law due to Adam and Anna’s engagement, Castiel wasn’t so sure. He was pretty sure Amelia Van De Novak would strangle Gabriel at every family meal, which as amusing as it would be at the time could lead to some serious problems, such as Castiel may be getting stuck with an even more annoying roommate than Gabriel. But all in all he was happy he had the guy there to help him.

Gabriel took great pleasure in pointing out to him who was worth knowing and who was not, it often felt like something out of that film Mean Girls that Anna adored, Castiel personally was not so fond of the whole thing. Though he’d always thought that the guy was extremely attractive, and of course so was Lindsay Lohan.

 He’d caught on pretty quickly that Gabriel had very clear views of who was worth knowing, and the general rule was that if you associated with Dean Winchester, and then you really weren’t worth knowing. Castiel so far had to say that this seemed perfectly fair, as Dean Winchester was an ass. An extremely strong rivalry ran between Gabriel and his English partner, and because of this Dean had obviously decided that Castiel was now the enemy too.

 

“We need to pull the first prank!” Castiel rolled his eyes at Gabriel’s obnoxious announcement as he continued to work over his chemistry prep. They were sat at the large table in the library during prep time, which fell from 5 till 7, and anytime from 6:30 you could go to dinner. Gabriel’s lanky hair which defiantly went against the school regulation hair cut was held back with a bright green elastic hair band, Castiel had spotted Kali sending it death glares all evening. Gabriel had bright amber eyes that were constantly glowing with mischief, and all in all was a rather short slightly tubby guy that contrasted completely with his girlfriend.

“We don’t need to do anything,” Kali grumbled arching an eyebrow and glaring at Gabriel. They had an interesting relationship to say the least, basically it consisted of Gabriel chasing her, her pushing him away, her finally letting him be with her, then Gabriel screwing up and the cycle starting again. Kali was a pretty Indian girl who had a fruity voice, dark shiny hair, which fell over her shoulders loosely, and big brown eyes.

“Yeah we do, otherwise Winchester will think he’s the shit, and I like to think it’s my duty to make sure he knows he’s not the shit.” Gabriel pouted leaning over and poking Balthazar with his pen. The blonde boy pushed the headphones, which were his latest present from his father who’d recently gotten engaged again, onto his neck and glanced up from his phone. Balthazar was a ruddy-faced boy, with blonde hair that he spent hours styling, his thin lips seemed to have only a few positions and that were a scowl, a smirk or an obnoxious grin, and right now he had rock star stubble that he was very proud of and trying to keep despite the fact that teachers kept threatening him.

“Or we could move on from the childish rivalry?” Kali interrupted Balthazar who had just opened his mouth to speak.

“No way bro,” Balthazar said firmly shaking his head, “Winchester won last year by zip tying everything in our rooms together including the scissors.”

“If you think he came up with that you’re a moron,” Kali sighed rolling her eyes. “He has Harvelle, Hendrickson and Bradbury coming up with any actual intelligent plans, and Bass and Masters helping out when they’re bored too.” She neatly wrote down a couple more answers before continuing, “Everyone knows Winchester couldn’t come up with anything intelligent after all.

Castiel frowned slightly he was in a couple of Dean’s classes and despite his initial assumption that the boy was just another spoilt, lazy brat like a lot of students at Ravensfield who were here entirely due to mommy or daddy’s money. Dean was clearly intelligent, a gigantic asshole who was extremely arrogant but he was intelligent.

“A moron Winchester may be, but an idiot he is not,” Bela Talbot’s clipped English accent broke through his thoughts, and he glanced up the see the pretty brunette girl standing there her tanned skin glowing somehow in the harsh Library lights and her cat like green eyes glinting in excitement. She obviously caught on to their confused looks as to why she had decided she had the right to butt into their conversation and just simply shrugged, her designer bag bobbing from the movement. “I have ears like a hawk when it comes to Dean Winchester and pranking,” she drawled slowly, pulling out a library seat and sitting down her hair flowing around her heart shaped face, “So let’s talk business.”

So that’s how they stayed for the rest of the prep session, and as much as Castiel tried to focus on his Chemistry prep he had to admit it was hard not to get sucked into the over exaggerated mannerisms of the people he was sat with, as they planned out their first prank.

 

Mrs Tran wasn’t the most of exciting Chemistry teachers, she was a fantastic teacher of course and clearly knew exactly what she was talking about, but she wasn’t very exciting. She was a small Vietnamese woman whose only son Kevin was in his year, like his mother he was extremely intelligent. But that was all Castiel had gotten from Gabriel on him, apart from the fact he played the cello too. For some reason that had been the trivia fact Gabriel had given on Kevin Tran ‘Here on an academic and music scholar ship also plays the cello.’ Why the fact that Kevin played the cello was meant to be important he wasn’t sure, but then again he hadn’t forgotten the fact either…

His lab partner was Hael Gilbert, a small dark haired girl with wide blue eyes, plump apple cheeks and pale skin. The lab coat seemed to swamp her and even the goggles were over sized on her face. In front of them was a sheet with today’s practical printed out; everything in Mrs Tran’s classroom was neat and ordered.

“Wait am I meant to put this in before we swirl it or after?” Hael asked smiling up at him, she was a sweet girl that he’d grown fond off. There wasn’t the underlying bitchy competiveness that often accompanied some of the girls at this school, but then again her parents weren’t famous, they were just rich. There was no big scandal swirling around the Gilbert family as there were with families such as the Talbot; rumours had flown at one point that Bela’s father used to touch her and that their death when she was 14 had been no accident. Or there was the dramatic oil scamming scandal that had haunted Balthazar’s father a few years back, or of course his own family. Lucifer Van de Novak had been a national sensation when he rebelled.

“After,” Castiel said at the same time as Dean Winchester peered up at the two of them with a mocking smirk and lazily pointed out that it was before.

Hael let out a soft sound of confusion before putting the clear chemical back on the bench and exchanging a look with Charlie Bradbury Dean’s chemistry partner. She was a pale, red headed girl who was in the debating club, charity represented for the year, head of the newspaper, a key member of the LBGT club and an out lesbian. Gabriel really knew too much about everyone’s lives…

“It’s after,” Castiel told Hael firmly, who picked up the chemical again apprehensively.

“It’s before,” Dean sung, with a small shrug. He spun his pen around casually before noting something down in his book.

“Mrs Tran defiantly said it was after when she was explaining the experiment.” Castiel pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes as he glared at the green-eyed boy.

“Believe whatever you want, but I know I’m right.” Dean shrugged again leaning his body forward.

“That’s nice, but consider this, you’re wrong.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m never wrong.” Charlie let out a small snort at Dean’s last retort, before yelping as he reached over and swatted her around the head knocking her goggles skewwhiff.

“First time for everything.”

“That’s cute,”

“Are you two aware your bodies are literally mimicking each other’s movements?” Both boys froze and turned around to glower at Charlie who didn’t even flinch, which was pretty impressive due to the fiery loathing currently oozing out of both green and blue eyes. “What it’s like a weird couples dance,” she smirked.

Castiel wrinkled his nose, narrowed his eyes and cocked his head as he stared at Charlie unsure what to say, he could hear Hael giggling next to him, and out of the corner of his eye he spotted Dean staring eyes wide and mouth moving though no words were coming out.

Glancing around Castiel realised a few people were watching them with bemused expressions; there was Ruby Bass, Gordon Walker, Crowley Humphrey and Gwen Campbell.

“Shut up,” the green-eyed boy finally managed to splutter out. Charlie mumbled something about Dean’s embarrassing comebacks but said nothing else on the matter.

“Remember to pour the nitric acid before you swirl the solution,” Mrs Tran’s voice rang loud and clear in the now quiet classroom. Castiel’s jaw clench and he didn’t look up to see Dean’s smug smile but he could tell from how the boy’s posture altered slightly that he was chuffed.

 

The air was crisp and held the promise of autumn as the leaves started to crisp and turn the perfect golden brown colour. The sun’s rays were still warm and they covered everything in a soothing end of summer blanket. The remaining flowers curled over and laid to rest until next spring when they could rise again, and birds darted throughout the cornflower sky streaking their colours like paint across a canvas.

Raven’s Academy grounds were large enough to contain a cross-country track, as well as quite a few different sport ones of course. In the winter term the possible sports were football and lacrosse for boys, then hockey for girls, but cheerleading was all year around for both boys and girls. Then anyone could do cross-country which was what Castiel had picked, he’d always liked running, it allowed him to clear his head and think clearly. Of course if you sucked at sport you did basketball, Gabriel did basketball…

“I’m telling you Sir, I’m going to whoop ass this season,” Castiel fidgeted awkwardly as he stood in the meeting place, the cool morning air making swift work of freezing him through the shorts and thin worn grey sweater. Jo was bouncing along beside Mr Tonking her blonde her pulled up, leg skins and a blue hoodie, which on closer inspection had Winchester printed across the back.

“I have no doubt about that,” Mr Tonking replied with a small smile as he blew the whistle which rung loud, clear and obnoxious in the morning silence, the tune striking against the birds early morning songs. He stared around at the group, his eyes holding that yellow glow that they got in certain lights, “Now again though some of you may have signed up for this because you think it’ll be a quick, fun jog in the park.” The snake like eyes darted over towards were Andy Gallagher shifted awkwardly and stared at the floor, Andy’s dark hair looked as if a lightning bolt had just struck him and he fingered a beaded surf necklace around his neck as he avoided Mr Tonking’s intense gaze. The other people from his grade apart from Jo and Andy were: Garth Fitzgerald, who was a weedy looking boy that was actually a lot taller than he originally appeared, a permanent grin was stuck on his face and his thin flat brown hair did nothing to hide a large pair of ears, which matched the over sized nose. And there was also Samandriel Phillips, a little innocent looking boy with a mop of dark hair and a shy sweet attitude.

“How many times is he going to point this out? Bet he just wants someone to drop out before the first months out,” Jo snickered causing Castiel to start slightly having never actually had a conversation with the girl. It was quite hard after all when she was glued to Dean Winchester who had already decided that he didn’t like Castiel for a list of reasons. One being that he was friends with Gabriel, and the others people had told him would be because he was wealthy, well known family, and just automatically part of the hierarchy at Ravens. This wasn’t his fault in anyway yet apparently it was reason enough for Dean Winchester to judge and dislike him. Castiel thought the guy was an ass. “Tonking’s is a sweet heart underneath it all, if he considers you a pet then he’ll adore.” Jo continued not seeming to caring that Castiel hadn’t responded to her first comment yet, “Slimy bugger really. An old Ravens student that peaked young and now has come back to create little versions of himself.” Castiel couldn’t say she was presenting Mr Tonking’s in a good light, yet he had to admit that the man had come across as slightly strange in Biology. The idea of mutation and survival of the fittest had welcomed a too cruel gleam into those yellow eyes.

So that’s how Mr Tonking’s speech continued as they all warmed up and stretched, with Jo Harvelle making snide comments in Castiel’s ear the entire time and by the end of the session as they’d run together, he was joking back.

It was nice as Jo was so very different from all his friends yet very much the same also, her mother worked here as part of the catering staff and she wasn’t embarrassed about it; it just was a fact. She didn’t ever get home sick, as her house was just in the village and that made it a lot easier when sneaking out as they could always just stay at Jo’s and get Ellen to call the school.

Jo wasn’t apologetic or ashamed about her lack of wealth, nor did she care that Castiel had money; again to her it was all just meaningless facts that could be over looked. It was good that, it was so rare to meet someone in Castiel’s world who didn’t care how much was sitting in your bank account.

 

The air smelt warm and comforting, and scent of cigarette smoke danced around lazily throwing the darkening blue sky. Amber lights flickered mellow throughout the park and the grass brushed ticklish against limbs. The evening stars glowed quietly in the background waiting for the rest of the darkness to crawl across the sky so they could take centre stage.

The pungent smell from Gabriel’s joint hung in the air giving Castiel a slightly lightheaded feel as he sat around with his friends. It was Saturday evening so Ravens allowed the Seniors and Juniors out until ten o’clock, which basically just involved most of the students getting smashed and staggering back to school and trying to convince the duty teacher that they were in fact sober. Castiel last week had watched Balthazar pull a fifty-dollar note out and slip it into Mr Rodger’s, or Ash, as he preferred to be called, hands. The IT professor had just raised his eyebrows and pocketed it before shooing Balthazar through to his dorm and running a hand through his mullet as he glanced around with a guilty smile.

Castiel had never drunk, nor had he ever smoked cigarettes or weed. He supposed Lucifer had just put him off them; Lucifer had put him off a lot of things really.

“Now I’m telling you that Brenda is meant to be with Max,” Gabriel said firmly shaking his shaggy hair.

“No way, Brenda is way too good for him.” Tracy Bell contradicted and Cassie agreed, both were pretty black girls with soulful eyes and Cassie had these ringlets that fell around her face elegantly.

“This is such bullshit, you are actually talking pure bullshit.” Balthazar groaned as he laughed as Kali gave him a firm shove before laying her head down on Gabriel’s shoulder; taking his hand and entwining their fingers, it was a small affectionate gesture that showed the true warmth and love behind all their pointless squabbles.

“I think the whole show is shit to be honest.” Rachel admitted throwing her hands up in the air and laughing as Tessa Blaire threw a handful of grass at her.

“I have to confess to never watching it either,” Castiel agreed catching Rachel’s eye and letting the laughter wash over him as he too was booed for the fact he wasn’t appreciating Dr Sexy enough. He enjoyed these simple moments.

Over in another corner of the park Ruby Stafford’s brown hair was glowing under the streetlights as she wrapped herself around Alastair Diggory, a tall boy with a cold cruel face and a lilting slimy voice that sent shivers down your back. Crowley Humphrey sat there in a bored manner as he played poker with Lilith Jenkins, a rather scary yet gorgeous blonde girl who would be prettier if her lips didn’t spend most of their time in a sneer. The group of them scared Castiel slightly; they were the type of rich kid that believed they could get away with murder because they knew money was the best kind of soap when trying to wash away troubles.

But walking back through the hazy lamps along Benton’s street, the stars now gleaming down in full brightness, Castiel felt a sense of peace and content that he never experienced at his previous school. This was way he came to Ravens, for this sense of life that he’d desired. To push away from the strict rules and the stuffy life, to stop being a boring robotic child, he wanted to live and walking back to Ravens under the starlit sky with Rachel Worthington-Wilde, a blonde girl with blue eyes, a soft giggle and nose that crinkled when she smiled, he was finally starting to feel like he must be doing it.

Castiel glared up at the ceiling as Gabriel let out another snort in his sleep, one day he was going to strangle his roommate. Gabriel let out a loud fart and muttered with what seemed a sense of pride; Castiel ground his teeth and realised that Gabriel’s death may have been sooner than anyone expected.

He groaned as he realised he needed to pee, right now nothing seemed more irritating than having to leave his nice warm bed and venture along the cold hallway to the bathroom, even if it did mean he could escape that off egg smell. He decided it wasn’t worth getting up and tried just lying with his face shoved against the pillow to keep the smell away. Eventually he rolled out of bed with a groan as well, he really needed to pee.

The corridor was cold as he crept along trying not to let the old wooden floors creak and wake anyone up. He didn’t want to be that dickhead after all that caused everyone to get no sleep. It was hard enough to get up for Saturday school without having been woken up at two in the morning.

A loud crack of the floorboards a little further caused him to freeze as even though you were allowed to go to the toilet at night if you really needed to go, that was the only excuse for being out of bed and he didn’t want to have to explain how much he needed to pee to a teacher, it just seemed uncomfortable.

“Fucking lump, going to fucking kill you one day, swear to God,” the obnoxious muttering caused him to relax and let out a small sigh of relief, there was no way that was a teacher.

“Why’d you let him out if you have school tomorrow?” A soft southern drawl replied to the voice.

“Oh I’m sorry I forgot I had to look after him 24/7!” The other voice snapped back, he frowned that sounded like Jo. However he wasn’t sure how she got into the boy’s boarding house, and what was she doing here at 2am? “And anyway you were the one drinking at the bar with him,” the voice seethed and that was defiantly Jo Harvelle. He didn’t recognise the Southern drawl though; no one with that accent went here that he knew of yet. But he’d hadn’t even been here a month yet so that didn’t actually mean anything.

“We were just having some-” the answering voice was cut off as they rounded the corner and spotted him.

“Hey Castiel,” Castiel glanced up to see Jo grinning at him wearily, she was wearing no make-up, a ratty old track hoodie with Harvelle printed down and thin pair of tartan pj shorts. Her eyes looked exhausted and shoulders were hunched over due to the weight on them that was Dean Winchester.

His dirty blonde hair was flat and falling into his eyes, his head was drooped and his arms were draped over Jo and Southern drawl’s shoulders to keep him standing.

“Oh good, you can help get Dean here back to his room,” the Southern drawl sighed, he looked tired, irritated and slightly drunk. “I’ll see you around Jo, feel better brother.” He nodded squeezing Dean’s arm leaving Jo spluttering protests about how he couldn’t just abandon them when this was his fault.

Jo glowered after the man she’d called Benny who just smirked at her before slipping down along the corridor out of sight, “Help,” she squawked her knees buckling as Dean dropped onto her more, his eye lids fluttering. “Sorry about this, it’s just…” Jo trailed off and Castiel let the silence hang around them, he knew there was no way to explain it. He’d heard the rumours about Dean after all.

“It’s no worry,” he promised moving over and looping his arm under Dean’s, making sure the green-eyed boy was leaning mostly on him. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Jo let out a soft, smothered yawn, and rubbed her eyes to try keep them open. He wondered how often she had to do this. “I’ve got him, you go to bed.” He instructed firmly, yawning through his words. Jo opened her mouth to protest but Castiel just glared at her firmly and shook his head, “No way you somehow sneak out of here again, and I’ll get Dean to bed safely.”

Jo fidgeted for a moment, biting down on her lip but eventually she gave in and thanked him before turning around heading away. He wasn’t sure how she’d got in or how she was planning to get out again, but maybe one day he’d be allowed to find out.

“Castiel,” the name rolled off Dean’s tongue heavy like honey, and Castiel quirked a bemused eyebrow as he shifted his body again so he could take Dean by himself.

“Hello Dean,” he replied with a small nod as he guided the intoxicated boy along the corridor to his room, it wasn’t easy as the amount of alcohol Dean had in him seemed of to taken away that easy grace he normally moved with, and now they were left with a lolloping, stumbling mess.

When he’d finally got Dean into his room and down onto his bed, he tugged up the shirt from the boy and helped him out of his jeans. He decided to save both their modesties, Dean could sleep in underwear.

The boy gazing up at him from the bed wasn’t the same Dean that he saw around school; his eyes were wide and confused. The dim light in the room cast shadows and illuminated his face, highlighting the dark circles, which ringed his eyes relentlessly.

“Why are you helping me?” Castiel paused by the door at the croaking voice that seemed to catch in Dean’s throat. It wasn’t the normal lazy drawl, no this had been stripped right back. The arrogance, the confidence it had all been ripped off to leave a raw vulnerable boy underneath.

“Because sometimes people do good things for reasons they don’t understand,” Castiel replied simply turning around and sweeping his eyes over Dean’s face. The guy really was gorgeous, even in this state. Dean didn’t reply he just stared right back unblinking; eventually he nodded and rolled over in bed mumbling a goodnight.

Castiel smiled toothily as he watched Dean’s breathing, and heard the kitten like yawn the boy released, “Night Dean,” he murmured in reply before slipping out the room and closing the door behind him.

He headed back to his room; his original bathroom trip forgotten and the small smile still playing at his lips. Dean Winchester was a puzzle, and he’d always loved puzzles as a kid.


	3. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop second month and destiel heats up
> 
> Please leave me kudos and comments so I feel loved

# October

 

Pens scratched against paper, rubbers groaned as they were roughly used and sighs and huffs of irritation floated through the stifling class room air of Mr Singer’s class room as everyone tried to complete the quiz. It was proving not to be the easy wingable end of topic test people had secretly been hoping for; they should have known Mr Singer by now.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dean Winchester sucking on his pen, pump lips wrapped around the end mesmerizingly, every now and again his tongue would appear between his lips as he scrawled down the answer to a question. Dean seemed to be finding the quiz easier than most and Meg Master’s one of his close friends had clearly clicked this and thus was spending every moment Mr Singer wasn’t looking staring over at Dean’s paper as if it were gospel.

Lisa Braeden was doing this too yet she wasn’t staring, Dean had angled his paper so she could see and was exchanging flirty gazes and winks with her throughout the quiz. It stirred something in his gut that he didn’t like. He could feel his lips thinning as he glowered through squinted eyes at his sheet. He could see Lisa shooting Dean smiles and giggles and it was infuriating him highly. Jesus Christ they were meant to be doing a test, this was hardly find ones-self a new fuck time.

Lisa Braeden was on the cheerleading squad and best friend to Bela Talbot. She was in all fairness a gorgeous girl with long brunette hair that was currently held back with a blue ribbon, she had doe eyes that were like hot chocolate with cinnamon flecks. Her lips were glossed and her delicate nose had freckles daintily dotted across. And despite the fact that Castiel knew Lisa was a lovely girl despite her taste in best friends; you had to question someone who chose Bela as a best friend after all… He really rather strongly disliked her in that moment.

“Pens down please and Mr Walker will I find a single answer that isn’t copied from Uriel?” Mr Singer remarked sarcastically with a roll of his eyes as he leaned against the desk running a hand through his thinning grey hair. Gordon Walker scowled, but Uriel Roberts smiled smugly. Neither boys were admittedly to Castiel’s taste, Uriel was all right but reminded him slightly too much of the boys from his old school. Gordon Walker was just a bit of a dick. Gordon was careless, the kind of painfully careless that ends up with a trail of broken objects and people scattered behind it. Careless was dangerous and reckless, Dean Winchester could be careless. He frowned to himself as he handed his test to Richard ‘Dick’ Roman, why wouldn’t Dean Winchester leave him alone.

The boy was an enigma of mood swings; a couple of days after Castiel had helped him on the night of the drinking, Dean had turned up sporting a large black eye, he offered no explanation for were it had come from, and whenever someone asked he just sarcastically replied that he’d got it fighting a werewolf. But that wasn’t the point of this memory, the point of this memory was that Dean had partnered him in PE which had started out as amusing as they’d been doing fitness but when Dean had ended up drenched in sweat, his grey shirt clinging to his toned chest and those white games shorts raising up around his muscled thighs the fine blonde hairs looking soft under the light. So that PE session he’d laughed and joked with Dean, and had ended up with a stirring in his stomach and a dry mouth.

However then the next day when Castiel had spotted Dean marching up the grounds from under that broad oak he and his friends always sat smoking and had greeted him, Dean had simply stared back at him in a bored cold manner before continuing on his way.

So yes, Dean Winchester was a strange one. Gabriel said it was the drugs the boy took that caused him to end up in such a state. Castiel didn’t know what to believe about that, he’d seen Dean in a state and one Saturday night he’d spotted Dean sliding down a shady street embracing the dark shadows and allowing his body to hide with ease. He didn’t want to believe the rumours but it was hard not to when they were swarming around the Winchester boy like flies, about how he’d spent his summer in rehab, about how he’d managed to get back into the school when he was here for free anyway, the rumours about how alcoholism ran in his family. It all swarmed around him in such a messy manner.

“You’re joining us for lunch sweet cheeks,” Meg Master’s honey voice broke through his floating thoughts and he raised his eyebrows slightly as she linked their arms together during the walk from History to the Dining Hall.

Castiel craned his neck over his shoulder just in time to see Dean’s arm around Lisa’s shoulder. He turned back to Meg who was rambling rapid fire about her hockey team, he caught a couple of words about how she’d been made Captain this year despite being a junior and thrilled she was to be able to rub it in Martha Redding’s face. His stomach was clenching violently as he heard Dean’s low rumbled laughter, he was obviously hungry he decided. That was the only logical explanation that he was willing to consider.

It wasn’t long before Jo, Victor Henriksen and Charlie had joined them as they headed into the school dining room. It was a large daunting room with high ceilings adorned with wooden beams, wooden tables that had names scratched into them years old and they all carried that peculiar smell of waxy oldness. Large frosted windows meant a constant draft floated around nipping at exposed skin and causing your food to go cold if it wasn’t inhaled within seconds of sitting down. When it was raining the windows allowed for a fantastically dramatic effect that if you stared out of them meant you felt like you were staring in a film or a book perhaps.

“Fuck yeah it’s burger day!” Charlie whooped loudly reaching over and high fiving Victor, who nodded a small smile on his face.

Victor Henriksen when you first met him came across as solemn and serious, it wasn’t until you’d spoken to him more than once that you became able to see through the lack of a smile on his face and spotted it sparkling right there in his eyes. He was a broad shouldered black boy with a shaved hair and dark stubble that was constantly shadowing his face no matter how much he tried to shave it apparently.

“This is what we like,” Jo whistled as Dean appeared and dropped his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m going to be congratulating Ellen for this delightful meal,” Dean grinned grabbing a tray and moving along the queue talking obnoxiously, smacking Meg in the face with an over the top hand gesture during his story. It was rather endearing the look of panic on his face before he realised who he’d hit. When he’d spotted Meg scowling at him with a neat eyebrow arched, he’d just shrugged and snickered. He wasn’t so amused however when she artfully tripped him over on his way to grab his burger. Castiel couldn’t stop his eyes trailing up Dean’s legs and noting the way bow legged manner they were in.

“Is there really such a need to be a bitch?” Dean muttered pouting.

“Stop calling girls bitches!” Jo growled her eyes flashing as she swatted him around the head.

“You tell him Joanna Beth,” a warm brunette lady smiled at Jo as she passed out the burgers.

“Don’t worry mum, I do,” Jo laughed bumping Dean in a friendly manner with her hip. Once it was pointed out, it took Castiel’s searching eyes mere seconds to spot the family resemblance: the kind eyes, and the smile that held unspoken promises that hurting them would be the most foolish thing one could ever do. The Harvelle women screamed of strength, loyalty and love.

“Hey Ellen,” Dean grinned sheepishly as she rolled her eyes fondly and handed him the biggest burger. “Thanks,” he drawled with a 100-Watt grin and a cheeky wink causing her to roll her eyes fondly again.

“Hey kid,” She smiled handing Jo a burger too. Victor, Charlie and Meg all greeted Ellen respectively and Jo had a small chat with her mom about the maths test she was pretty sure she just aced before moving on and leading Castiel over to their table.

He passed Gabriel who shot him an amused glance but that was all, he supposed he had to remember that this wasn’t some cliché film were people didn’t go outside their cliques.

Lunch was laid back and easy, Dean and Victor discussed the upcoming football match and Jo butted in with comments from their latest cross country runs. Castiel was glad for that conversation it meant he could join in easily, but overall he was content to listen.

However hearing it confirmed that Dean was currently dating Lisa brought back the odd feeling in his stomach and made his burger hard to swallow. Even Dean’s lame protests about how they weren’t dating didn’t improve his mood. He hated this feeling; he met Dean’s eyes as Dean grunted again about how he didn’t date and they didn’t break eye contact until Charlie hit Dean and moved on to discussing her latest charity mission.

 

Castiel stared out at the football pitch ignoring Gabriel’s obnoxious chants from beside him. Balthazar and Rachel sat there cheering only when something good actually happened, which admittedly was quite often as the Ravens football team was impressive as was there lacrosse team.

Castiel wrinkled his nose and forced out a cheer as Uriel tackled someone. He was struggling with any thoughts lacrosse related at the moment, or really any thoughts Dean related.

He’d been doing absolutely fine ignoring the logical explanation for the feeling he got whenever he saw Dean and Lisa together until Meg had brought him to watch Dean’s lacrosse match with her.

Dean had been sweaty, hot and when they’d won he’d had this euphoric expression, Dean so rarely looked proud of himself. The feeling of proudness stirring in Castiel’s stomach had been impossible to ignore and the feeling of Dean’s hot sweaty body pressed up against his afterwards that had been a pretty sure sign that he had a crush on the green eyed boy. Meg had definitely given him a knowing look after his pale skin had flushed red as Dean pulled away, but sexuality didn’t seem a that big deal at Ravens.

He wasn’t shocked to discover he liked Dean, seeing as from the age of twelve he’d been very aware that he found boys much more attractive than girls, but he’d never actually had a true interest in any one. He’d come out to his family a couple of years ago, and like most things in their household it was simply swept under the rug and life continued as normal.

“I don’t think I’m going home for Thanksgiving,” Balthazar shrugged lazily drawing Castiel out of his thoughts and back into the real world. A nonchalant expression was on Balthazar’s arrogant features. It was so easy to not see past the uncaring teenager but if you looked close enough the hurt little boy flashed through his eyes, it didn’t last long but it was there. That was always the problem with life, no matter how little you want to care and how used to being let down you become it still hurts. “Dad’s too busy.” He continued rolling his eyes as the other school started to make a run for it down the pitch causing Gabriel to scream in frustration. The Kensington household was a small one, existing in a rather excessive house. It was just Balthazar and his father, who was an older man that produced movies; his mother had been a model until she’d died during childbirth. The whispers said that Balthazar thought he killed his own mother or that’s what he apparently screamed out in his sleep. No body said anything to him about it, everyone’s secrets may have been considered public property at Ravens but everyone still acted as if a secret was truly a secret.

Rachel played with a piece of her hair and smiled nervously, her foot resting against Castiel’s, “I think I am this year, mummy and daddy might be able to be back. If not I’ve got Hester and my sister at home at least.”

“Who’s Hester?” Gabriel asked, “How on earth were you the fastest fucking sperm!” He screamed jumping up and waving dramatically at one of the players causing the people around him to laugh and join in.

“She’s our nanny,” Rachel replied with a coy smile when Gabriel finally sat back down, his face red and his breathing short.

“Fair, I’m staying with Kali as my family have all decided to bugger off to the Alps without me,” he laughed. Again it was a forced laugh, not the carefree one that often fell from Gabriel’s lips. Oh to be young rich and craving love from your family, the students at Ravens truly were the ones to be envious of, Castiel thought with a sad smile.

“I like how you’re assuming she’ll take you,” Balthazar teased.

“Oh course she will,” Gabriel pouted.

“I wouldn’t if I were her,” Castiel added, blue eyes flashing with amusement as Gabriel shoved him.

“I’ll sit outside her door step until she lets me in!”

Balthazar and Castiel glanced at each other again before snickering causing Gabriel to hit them both fondly.

The match ended with a win for the Ravens and Castiel followed his friends back up to their dorms to relax for a bit, and as Balthazar threw his arm around his neck he couldn’t help but grin to himself toothily. Maybe none of them had the love they wanted from their blood family, but that didn’t matter as they made better ones.

 

The rest of that week flew by in a flurry of blushes and homework, he could tell Jo, Meg and Charlie were starting to sense he felt something towards Dean but anytime any of them started to broach the subject, he made an excuse and ran away. It was one thing to admit something to yourself but a completely different thing to say the heavy words out loud.

The world hadn’t been trying to make it easy for him, instead of allowing him to simply hide with Gabriel, Rachel, Balthazar and his other friends, Miss Barnes had set them an English project which involved him and Dean working together. A lot.

Watching Dean stretch out in a worn grey shirt that rode up exposing tanned skin and his hipbones, which were adorned with delicate freckles. And seeing him frown, and stretch his lips around the top of his pink highlighter as he studied the book… All this was not helping Castiel’s night-time fantasies. Knowing Dean was only a couple of corridors down at night wasn’t helping either, a part of him wished they could have at least been put in different boarding houses but they were both in Warville.

Dean’s room wasn’t decorated, there were a few pictures tacked up carelessly on his pin board and he’d muttered something about Ruby Bass putting them up. There was: Dean in his lacrosse uniform with Jo hanging off his back grinning, Jo, Dean, Victor and Charlie as innocent fresh faced 7th graders (Jo had braces, Charlie had a bob and Dean looked extremely feminine.) Then also there was a couple of pictures of Dean from the age of 14 and under with a younger kid who’d Dean had said was his younger brother Sam. Then finally in the corner of the board there were two crumpled looking photos, one of a dark haired man kissing a blonde pregnant woman’s cheek and the second of what he assumed was Dean’s family. Dean hadn’t said anything about them, he’d actually snapped at Castiel for being nosy and then proceeded to be in a foul mood for the rest of the day. He’d turned up to dinner stinking of smoke and booze causing Jo to be in a foul mood for the rest of the night.

“You couldn’t meet a kid smarter than Sammy,” Dean had grinned one day, his eyes crinkling up around the sides. “Made me look a right idiot in comparison,” the laugh that followed this statement was hollow and bitter, and the light that filled Dean’s eyes was dull and worn.

“Must have been pretty smart then,” Castiel replied with a small smile, causing Dean to nod.

“Yeah he was a genius…”

“Was?”

Silence, punctuated only by Dean’s harsh swallow.

“Yeah was, he died.” Dean’s jaw was locked and trembling, his bottom lip stuck out before he pulled it back into his mouth and bit down hard clearly to force himself not to cry.

“I’m sorry Dean,” was all Castiel could say. He didn’t know what else to say, how could you make something like that better. Even the words he had said didn’t mean anything; sorry wouldn’t bring Dean’s brother back. Words held so much power, they had the power to build, to destroy, and to conquer but in that moment they held no power. They were worthless.

“It’s okay,” Dean shrugged weakly; it wasn’t okay. Things like that were never okay but Castiel accepted Dean’s response and continued working. He felt like he had just found a crucial part of the green eyed boy shaped puzzle, and he now understood why Dean felt so strongly about Katniss and Prim’s relationship.

Castiel himself couldn’t identify with their relationship in the same way. He understood Peeta better; a load of older siblings and none of them would take the fall for him in the same way. Michael would take it for Lucifer even after he left them.

That memory was burned into Castiel’s mind; he didn’t think it would ever leave.

He’d been ten at the time and it had been the winter holidays so everyone was home. There was a truly grand Christmas tree in the living room; Anna and him had been sat underneath it trying to guess what each of their presents were and throwing bits of ginger bread at each other, Michael was sprawled out in front of the TV lazily doing his holiday work, mother been watching them all exasperated and father had been in the study working. Michael had tried to get father to join them by saying there was a TV show starting up about Lawyers and he thought that it would be something he’d enjoy and they could bond over, father had promised him they’d watch it together another night. That had been two weeks ago of course.

Lucifer had marched in his eyes full of madness and his blonde hair stuck to his head from the cold snow outside. He’d been screaming and his words hadn’t made sense, they weren’t really words just noises. He’d been yelling for father, his breathing rapid and forced. He’d seemed unable to control his anger; his hands had been flying out at all angles knocking off a vase at one stage. That’s what had brought father roaring out of his office, not the screaming but the shatter of the vase.

“I know what you did! How could you do that?” The words had echoed around the room, they were full of sinister menace; each one sharpened and designed to wound. Silence had fallen after that. A broken smirk played on Lucifer’s lips, “Were we not enough for you? Did you need to share your fatherly love even more?” He’d laughed, cold and crooked. No one else had moved.

“Come on father, tell us about your latest creation.” Those were the words that shattered the silence, sending fragments of it spinning off and embedding themselves in each of the Van de Novak’s hearts.

It was a blur after that, a blur of harsh words and broken sobs. Lucifer had never come home after that, he’d been 16 years old and had chosen to walk out their family for good, that’s what Michael and father said. It didn’t matter much now though, as everyone knew who Luke Malroy was. He was the star baseball player who had reinvented himself after his father kicked him out for loving his family too much.

Castiel still didn’t know whom to believe.

 

He pushed open Dean’s door and froze, his legs unable to retreat backwards and leave. His eyes fell heavily on the sight in front of him, which included Lisa Braeden on her back, legs spread with Dean’s head between them.

“Fuck,” Castiel spluttered, the word falling from his mouth before he processed what was going on and realised that it would be easier just to leave and say nothing.

“Oh my god!” Lisa squealed pushing Dean away who landed on the floor with a very put out grunt. Grabbing the comforter Lisa wrapped herself in it, her pretty little mouth dropped in a nervous o shape. Castiel then realised it was a pretty good thing he wasn’t into girls as well as otherwise he just missed out a prime opportunity to check out Lisa’s boobs. However he was a little more stuck on Dean with a bruised pink mouth, standing there in his boxers. There was just miles of tanned skin, a v line that begged you to go lower, and the way his bow legs fell made Castiel forget for a moment what he’d just interrupted. He snapped his eyes back up and spotted Dean glowering at him.

“What the hell man?”

“We were meant to be studying…”

“Oh well this is awkward,” Dean grinned sheepishly, his eyes full of unapologetic glee. Castiel felt like he was going to be sick.

“Shut the fuck up! Shit I’m so sorry Castiel,” Lisa rambled, he just nodded and muttered about studying in the Library. He felt his legs finally unfreeze and he turned basically tripping out of the door in his need to escape, to burn the sight out of his mind.

“Why were you apologising, babe? He should have knocked.” The word’s Dean shrugged so carelessly at Lisa through the closed door stung deep as Castiel stumbled back through the corridor to his own room.

“What up C-dog?” Gabriel drawled lazily as he shut the door carefully behind him.

Castiel’s eyes were wide and his mouth seemed unable to function, as it moved forming no words. He ran his hands through his hair and sunk down to the floor slowly, unable to remove the image from his mind. He didn’t expect Dean to like him back, he knew he was just nursing a crush on the green-eyed boy but that didn’t matter. That didn’t make it hurt less.

Gabriel was by in his side in a second, a crease between his eyebrows and his nose wrinkled in confused as he crouched beside him, fingers twitching as if unsure if to reach out and touch him or not.

Castiel hung his head lowly and felt Gabriel’s arms enclose around him, holding him tightly and anchoring him to the realms of humanity.

“Went to Dean’s, we were meant to be studying together.” He paused and calmed his breathing, leaning his head against his oldest friend’s shoulder and smiling slightly as the edges of his too long hair brushed his jaw. “And saw him eating out Lisa…” He trailed off realising how pathetic he sounded. Human emotion was so frail, so breakable and all he wanted in that moment was to be above it, to not feel his heart shatter at something so trivial.

Gabriel didn’t respond for a moment, he just squeezed Castiel tightly, “You’re so much better than him Cassy.” They were the only words Gabriel said to him about it, but it reminded him of the trickster’s emotions too. And that for all his laughs, jokes and constant smiles Gabriel was just as caring as them all. Castiel knew he forget at times to appreciate it, but Gabriel truly was a friend to be proud of.

 

Castiel could feel the sick feeling swirling in his stomach as he slouched as the corner of the wall, trying extremely hard to harness the ability to move through solid substances so he didn’t have to be there. He’d never been to a party like this, sure it was the schools event but that didn’t seem to change the fact everyone was drinking.

He found socialising with those he wasn’t close with draining and he needed a break every now and again. Being in a room with the entire of the junior and senior year wasn’t doing much for him.

“What up Cas?” He glanced up at the sound of Jo’s voice and smiled weakly, running a hand through his messy hair.

“People are draining,” he shrugged rubbing his temples softly.

“Fair,” Jo nodded handing him a flask to which he took a long swig letting the drink burn down in his throat. “You shouldn’t be hiding that pretty face away,” she teased tugging gently on one of his black angel wings.

“There is a large lacking of males willing to dance,” he replied, in the last week he’d started to open up more about his sexuality.

“And? Go out and show them what they’re missing out on,” Jo grinned, her nose crinkling up as she absent-mindedly smoothed down her blue little dress. Jo had dressed up as Alice in Wonderland with a twist, the twist being the fake blood splattered on her white apron and the toy knife tucked into the straps. In high white knee socks, red lips and a pair of killer black heels she looked fantastic; most of the girls did.

Castiel was pretty sure he looked ridiculous; he hadn’t wanted to dress up at all. But Gabriel had forced him, if it were up to him then he’d be sitting upstairs reading, working or just doing something worthwhile with his time. But no he was here living up to his namesake, thus meaning he was dressed as an angel. Or rather a fallen angel to be technical as Balthazar was dressed as an angel. Balthazar was shirtless in tiny white shorts with excessive fluffy wings and a halo; he’d also covered himself in glitter. Castiel however was in a ripped white shirt stained with blood, black skinny jeans and he had a broken pair of black wings on; his outfit was a lot simpler.

Meg’s words to him had been that Dean would probably orgasm, he wasn’t sure how the girls had caught onto his crush but they were scary that way.

The ringing of Jo’s phone broke him out of his thoughts, “Why are you calling me Charlie? I can see you on the other side of the room!” She waved her hands dramatically as she spoke, and Castiel felt a smile curl up around his lips as he listened in.

“I couldn’t be bothered to walk over,” Charlie replied causing Jo to groan exasperatedly.

“Why’d you call Charlie?”

A pause followed before the words poured out of the phone in a mess of desperation, “Tracy Bell asked me to dance, and she’s dressed as a leopard and looks really sexy, so I panicked and now I’m hiding. What do I do?”

“You go dance with her because she’s hot Charlie Bradbury before I come over there and drag you onto the dance floor.” Jo hung up with dramatic flair before shoving her phone back down the front of her dress.

It wasn’t long before they spotted Charlie dressed as knight leading a leopard out onto the dance floor, shy smiles on both their faces.

Finally Castiel let his eyes fall on Dean, who was smiling stupidly in the middle of the dance floor his hand’s on Lisa’s delicate waist. They looked perfect together, and he hated that. Dean hadn’t really dressed up at all, he was in a leather jacket, ripped white tank top, black skinny jeans, a red bandanna pushing his gelled hair back and heavy boots, claiming to be a dead biker. Lisa was dressed as a pumpkin, and unfortunately managed to make it look attractive. The orange tank top and skater skirt flattered her tan, showed off her toned cheerleader’s stomach and legs, even her make up was done well. She looked sexy and classy at the same time. He didn’t stand a chance.

“You know I love Dean more than anything right Cas?” He glanced over at Jo and took the flask she offered him again. His body was starting to feel loser and the stress of the amount of people surrounding him was slowly leaving. He nodded in response unsure where this was going. “I love him with all my heart but he wouldn’t be good for you.”

Castiel swallowed awkwardly and bit his lip, “Does he even date guys?” He pointed cynically, there was no point of this conversation in his mind.

“Couple of times he’s fucked them,” that had him choking on the booze, as he spluttered pathetically and stared at Jo wide eyed in shock, he hadn’t seen that one coming it was safe to say. She winked before taking the flask from him and continuing, a graver look in her eyes as she stared out over the cheesy decorated gym. “He’s still running from monsters that aren’t really there.”

“Aren’t we all?” Castiel replied softly taking a swig from the flask again and relishing in the slow burn down his throat. It wasn’t long after that as they stood in the comfortable silence that Victor appeared in his cop costume and dragged Jo onto the dance floor.

The music danced around him, and the laughs and chatter of his peers made excellent partners for the ever-thudding beat. A whiff of smoke caught in his nose, and he turned to see Meg and Dean reappearing in the gym, he hadn’t noticed either of them leave. Dean flashed him a crooked grin before scampering off back to Lisa, Meg sauntered over and took his hand with a coy smile spread across her painted red lips.

“One dance Clarence is all I ask for,” she purred fluttering her lashes and grinning up at him, brown hair curled elegantly. “It’ll stop you moping, and I know I don’t have a dick or apple green eyes but I’m a firm believer in platonic relationships,” she grinned. Castiel debated refusing and staying put, but the vodka in the drink Jo had given him was swirling around his head so against his better judgement he relented and let himself be pulled away.

“You look beautiful Meg,” he smiled kindly wrapping his arms around her and letting the slow music envelop him. He felt full of the kind of evangelical zeal that it feels like only teenagers can get, as you do something and just embrace the fact you’re young, foolish and free.

“Shut up,” she leant her head against his shoulder, but he could see the pleased smile on her face.

“Crowley told me the vampire costume made me look fat…” Castiel’s jaw clenched, what kind of person told someone that. It was wrong to tell anyone they looked fat, it was wrong to think you had the right to tell anyone anything negative about how they looked, and try influence how they feel about themselves.

“You look beautiful, and if I were into girls,” he added onto the end teasingly as he kissed the top of her head.

“I told him he was just upset I was so out of his league,” she shrugged, before adding: “I think it would be a lot easier if you were into girls as you’re sexy as hell,” as she grinned in a cat like manner, “Also I know for a fact Rachel really likes you,” Castiel followed her gaze to where the blonde girl was stood looking pretty in a cute black and yellow dress with bee antenna.

“My parents said it would be easier too.”

Silence followed that statement for a moment, “If it means anything Clarence, I think you’re very brave. Not many would have the guts.” Castiel didn’t respond to that statement, but he felt touched. Meg wasn’t one for these kinds of moments; he simply squeezed her softly and continued to sway in a half attempt of dancing.

The next hour blurred by as he drifted around the gym talking to people, Gabriel’s fairy costume won an award, as did one of the senior girl’s. Alastair won the award for most disturbing costume as he came dressed in normal clothes claiming to be a serial killer as they look normal, most people stayed away from him after that, apart from Ruby Stafford, Crowley, and Lilith who’s devil costume was most fitting.

It was near the end of the evening when people were leaving the gym and heading out to do their own things for the night when he finally ended up speaking to Dean. The green-eyed boy held out a bottle for him with a grin that clearly was meant to be an apology, and then dragged him outside to join him for a smoke break. Castiel was well aware smoking wasn’t an attractive thing but watching the cigarette hang lazily in Dean’s fingers, and his lips curl around it, well it was attractive…

He had to admit he was surprised when Dean dragged him across the field and down behind Manning, a small part of him wondered if Dean was going to finally confess that he liked and kiss him. He could almost picture Dean’s strong hands pushing him up against the wall and how his lips would be red and slick when he finally pulled back, the way his chest would be moving up and down as they stared at each other with a mix of nerves and passion.

“Come on,” Dean’s groaning voice pulled him out of it, his voice got more gravelly when he drank and it made Castiel want to yell fuck it and pull the green eyed boy close and kiss him until they were both breathless. Maybe he thought about kissing his platonic friend too much, in his defence it was hard not to with how kissable the guy’s lips were. So in his mind this was completely Dean’s fault. “You hear me Cas?” He shook his head and glanced up at Dean who was smirking slightly; his cheeks flushed from the drink. He still couldn’t understand how the teachers let everyone get away with the blatant drinking that had occurred during the dance, but Meg said it was easier to let them all get away with it as long as nothing too extreme happened, rather than have to punish the whole junior and senior year group.

His heart fell slightly when he saw the group of people already there and sitting in a circle, he wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected but this wasn’t it. In the dim lightly that fell onto the court he could spot the flashes of bottles being passed around and the sound of voices seemed to swim around him, maybe he’d drunk more than he’d first thought.

He felt his mouth drop and his eyes pop as two girls leaned in and started to kiss, then his eyes were drawn to the green bottle sitting in the middle of every one. But this was no ordinary spin the bottle type kiss, one of the girls’ pulled the other into her lap and from where he was standing he could hear the moan that sounded. He took a tentative step back and glanced over at Dean who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Welcome to the Ravens version of spin the bottle; you up for the challenge Cas?” Dean’s words spun around his head, the green-eyed boy’s warm breath brushed teasingly across his neck and he could feel his head spinning. He swallowed loudly and glanced up at Dean who seemed closer to him than before, those green eyes brimming with the challenge and one eyebrow arched.

Castiel straightened his spine and stared up at Dean through his lashes a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips, “Bring it.” He purred winking up at the taller boy before marching off towards the circle of people unsure of what had come over him. He glanced back at Dean and noticed the way his mouth was moving despite the fact no words were coming out of it, and decided whatever had come over him had been extremely fun.

The buzz that was coursing through him was getting stronger the more he drank; he blamed Dean for this. He could feel the heat radiating from Dean’s thigh that was pressed close up against his, more than once he’d had to thump the guy to stop him from shaking his leg but judging from the way Dean would let out a badly hidden chuckle or grin lazily at him whenever he did so, he was doing it deliberately to wind him up.

This game was more than the childish game Gabriel had often dragged him into at parties when you were twelve, it was all about showing off how good of a kisser and the real truth was the game was a competition, and whoever had the raciest, most passionate kiss won.

His bet was that Dean and Bela would win, it was clear when they’d kissed how much unleashed sexual tension had been built up there. Bela had seemed to have forgotten how Dean was her best friend’s boyfriend, and Dean seemed to forget he even had a girlfriend; can’t be that good a relationship then, he thought smugly unable to keep an enigmatic smile off his face. That had not been his expression during the kiss of course he’d been tight lipped with his brows furrowed, Meg had shot him a knowing look to which he must embarrassingly enough admit led to him pouting.

“Remember Dean if you’re ever up for that angry sex,” hearing that British accent purr those words had caused his jaw to clench and he hadn’t even noticed the bottle had been spun again until Dean was shoving him playfully.

He felt the colour filling his cheeks as everyone leered at him, whom was he meant to kiss? He couldn’t even remember the last person he’d kissed. He could feel butterflies flying in his stomach and he didn’t care how much he knew Dean and/ or Gabriel would laugh at him for that.

“Me?” He stammered out, his heart beating faster as he dragged his knuckles subconsciously along the tarmac. Dean elbowed him in the side teasingly, and he glanced over wide eyed and slightly nervous at the green eyed boy, he didn’t expect Dean to understand though with looks like his he’d probably hadn’t had this problem since he was a young kid.

As per usual he’d been staring at Dean so intensely he hadn’t even realised the bottle had been spun again.

“Pucker up Clarence,” He froze and stared at the seductive drawl that had come from Meg. He cocked his head and swallowed. He peered at Dean and saw him smirking; he remembered how he’d told Dean to bring the challenge. He could do this; he could this. His tongue ran over his lips and he nodded at Meg. He could do this.

He shuffled forward slowly, head bowed; Meg slipped her hand under his chin and smirked. He blushed and gawked at her as she winked, and then suddenly her lips were on his. It was soft and gentle and he found himself following her rhythm with ease. She pulled back with a cat like grin, her pupils defiantly wider than when he’d leaned in. He realised that the kiss had been pathetic, he couldn’t leave it at that what if Dean thought he was a bad kisser? Then he’d never get to kiss him. Because of course seeing him kiss well in a drunken game of spin the bottle would what convinced the straight taken boy to kiss him. He was still unsure how factual Jo’s comment was about Dean fucking guys…

He tugged Meg back towards him and knotted his hands in her dark hair as he captured her mouth hungrily; he heard her let out a soft moan as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He pulled back finally and ran a hand through his hair attempting to flatten it; his hair was easily messed up.

Meg’s eyes were hooded and a small smirk played across her red wet lips, the fake blood at the corner of her mouth was slightly smudged and her black skirt was pushed up high around her thighs. “What was that?” She giggled biting down on her slightly swollen bottom lip.

“Gabriel watches a lot of porn,”

“Well A+,” she murmured before grinning wickedly, “Oh close your mouth Deano, and maybe if you’re lucky it’ll be your turn next.” Castiel spun around his heart still racing slightly, he was just in time to see Dean’s mouth go from down around his knees to a thin pressed line, a sour expression was on his face and his eyes were narrowed.

“Whatever Masters,” he couldn’t help but quirk a toothy smile when Dean muttered his lame come back under his breath.

He shuffled back in next to Dean and let the rest of the game float past; he was still in a slight daze. His expression soured as the bottle landed on Dean and Cassie, he stared blankly ahead as they kissed ignoring the jeers of “Take two,” and “Memories.” The circle started to thin out so there were less people to go so Castiel ended up kissing Rachel, he kissed her softer than he’d kissed Meg, and she blushed at the end of it. Dean nudged him playfully; it was a shame the green-eyed boy couldn’t understand that as cute as Rachel was. He just didn’t want her. He remembered Meg’s words from earlier of how she was obviously into him, but as he’d said before he had no interest in girls.

He heard Dean let out a laugh and knew the bottle had landed on him again; he debated making an excuse about how he was tired and going to hit his bed. The alcohol cruising through his system made it extremely tempting; he didn’t think he could take watching Dean make out with someone else. He started to mumble something under his breath about leaving even though he knew Dean wasn’t listening. His eyes were drawn to the bottle and a satisfied smile grew on his face when the bottle landed on Dean again, he would so watch Dean make out with his clone. He frowned slightly as he went to get up about how creepy he was, but in his defence Dean was fucking gorgeous.

“The bottle goes to the person clockwise of Dean,” Balthazar’s sharp accent brought him straight out of his thoughts as he froze; the person clockwise to Dean was… Well… Him.

“What?” He heard Dean splutter, and his cheeks flushed again, he hated the ease with which he blushed, it was becoming a hazard. To his social life and sense of self-pride of course, it wasn’t harming anything else.

“Afraid of kissing a boy Winchester?” A voice leered from the circle, he could feel his cheeks blushing more, and he wondered on a scale of one to ten how much he resembled a tomato right now. Dean was protesting with his jaw jutting out and his arms folded.

“It’s just a kiss!”

“Fine,” Castiel felt Dean’s hands on him as he tilted his chin up slightly; there was a look in those green eyes that he couldn’t decipher.

“You don’t have to,” he murmured causing Dean to shoot him a toothy grin, and roll his eyes.

As Dean leaned in closer Castiel shut his eyes, after what felt like forever he felt Dean’s lips brush against his. As cliché as it sounds he could feel fireworks going off in his mind, his lips were tingling and he leaned in needing more; only to find an empty space. Dean had pulled back. Of course Dean hadn’t wanted to kiss him, he could hear Dean arguing with Gordon about how that technically was a kiss even if it didn’t meet his standards. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and he pushed himself up.

“I think I should go,” he murmured glaring at the floor.

“Scared him off with your shitty kissing skills Winchester,” he clamped his lips tightly together as he started to walk away with his head bowed, how could he have been stupid enough to think even the smallest part of Dean would want to kiss him properly.

“Fine!” He heard Dean snap again, he didn’t care what was going on. “Cas!” He turned around just as Dean slid his hands around his waist. He could feel his heart rate increasing and his breathing becoming more rapid. “We’ll show them a proper kiss,” he drawled teasingly but Castiel could see he was nervous. His brows were drawn together and he was chewing relentlessly on his lower lip, which actually just made it look more kissable.

He was about to tell Dean it was okay when Dean rolled his eyes again, “Just fucking kiss me,” he grumbled and Castiel felt himself get tugged right up against Dean’s body.

There was no gentle lip brushing this time, this was a proper kiss, the kind of kiss that made one weak at the knees. The kiss was fierce as Dean tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth teasingly as he moved both hands up so they were tangled in his hair. Castiel let out an estranged moan and he didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed as Dean took the opportunity to flick his tongue in. Their tongues worked together in sync twisting and curling around. He pulled back for a breath and his eyes fell on Dean’s bruised plump lips, they were slick with spit and if this went on any longer Castiel was going to get hard. There was defiantly something stirring down there already and even though most of the people at this school already knew he was gay, Dean was way too clueless for that. And for some reason Castiel just didn’t want him to know, it would probably make his crush more obvious. God he couldn’t imagine the embarrassment if Dean felt his hard on pressed against his leg from one make out session.

That thought brought him straight down to earth as he felt his dick growing more interested, he stammered out some attempts at words and stared at Dean unable to look away. That was going to be his shower image for months, or possibly years to come.

“That was like fucking porn,” Meg’s lazy drawl brought them back to the rest of the group who were staring, the girls were staring in awe and even the guys looked slightly impressed.

“I’ll give it to you two, you’ve got balls,” someone mumbled, he didn’t really care who said it.

“Just a kiss,” Dean shrugged before picking up the bottle and taking a drag, “Now I have other places to be,”

“Drugs to take,” he heard Balthazar’s snide comment but if Dean did too, then he didn’t care. Dean didn’t even look at him as he slunk off drinking steadily from the bottle.

“I think I’m going to go too,” Castiel mumbled running his hands through his hair as he tried to flatten it.

“I’ll come with you,” He smiled at Rachel’s offer, he didn’t really have it in him to talk to anyone but she was nice and the distraction would be nice.

He’d been right talking to Rachel was nice; she slightly managed to take his mind off Dean’s dismissal of their kiss. Sure he hadn’t expected it to mean anything, okay that was a lie a small part of him had hoped that when Dean kissed him that he’d realise he was hopelessly in love with him. It was pathetic, he knew, but a boy could dream.

He walked her to her boarding house and even leaned in and kissed her cheek to say good night. She deserved to be happy, but unfortunately he wasn’t the person to do it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't judge by this chapter, it will get better!!! This is just an intro ahhh


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